As I have clung to Him these past month, I have spent more time in His word and in prayer. Not just praying for Austin, although I did a lot of that, but praying for others and for myself. That may sound selfish, but it wasn't. I prayed that through this trial that I would I would totally trust His will and His plans. That I would grow closer to Him during this time and that I would come to know Him more. That has happened and I am just as thankful for those prayers that were answered as I am for the ones God answered in Austin's life.
One of the things I have learned through this trial is that the more I focus on Jesus and being more like Him, the fuzzier other things in my "vision" become. This week has been one of many stressful situations~ no health insurance due to miscommunications, a car that has been "sick" for over a year and now probably cannot be fixed, to name a couple BIG ones. Yes, my first response was "oh NO! Not something else!!!!!" Especially about the insurance! But the more time I spent in prayer and in His word, I was reminded that these are just temporal things. Yes, we do need insurance. And yes, we do need a car. But I KNOW that "my God will supply every need of (ours) according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:9). He has supplied to Austin every need he has had in fighting this cancer! He even brought Dr. Moses to Augusta, GA to do Austin's surgery. Maybe not to do JUST Austin's surgery :), but it was just in the right timing. As I look at life through eyes that are keenly focused on God and His will and His way and what is important to Him, all of these other "needs" just seem fuzzier. I think this time in my life is one that God is using to remind me where my "focus" needs to be. What I need to be striving for. Not things, or even comforts of insurance and savings accounts, but on HIM and His way and His will for my life. Phil. 4: 13- 14 says: 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I am going to "press on" with my eyes focused on Him to "the prize" that He has called me to!